Sunday, August 28, 2011

Spamalot

If you have a blog, eventually you will be getting some Spam. It's not difficult to spot despite the efforts of the spammers. Unfortunately for them, I have past experience at taking on the lads from Lagos and say "bring it on".

First up, Vinod tries to comment:

Nice blog dear I like the way as you present your view among the all visitors. I would like to join you again on this blog it’s a very nice visit on this blog. It’s very attractive and effective for visitors. soldering wire suppliers soldering flux manufacturers

Dear ?! Did I give you permission to be so familiar with me ? It's nice of you to say that this blog is a very nice visit but think that you could do with some advice on sentence construction. Allow me to offer my consultancy services. Oh, and the link doesn't work now - I broke it - if you want to advertise on my blog then I want some cold, hard cash.

I also seem to attract attention from people too lazy to read the blog:

Dear Sir / Madam

My name is [name] and i want to place an order of Workbenches. please i want you to get back to me with the types and sizes you have available with the prices quote as well. please i will also need your website so that i can go through and see the other product you have. thank you and don't forget to let me know the types of credit cards you do accept for the payment.

or

Good Day,
Am [name] i want to know whether you carry(PLASTIC TANK) in stock for sale.If you do so kindly email me with the sizes and the price ranges on that so that i will know the quantity to offer and also i want to know if you accept credit card as form of payment.Are you the Sales Manager or the Owner?Awaiting for your prompt reply.
Regard

These arrive with monotonous regularity. Sadly, not often enough to make me think I ought to try selling workbenches, plastic tanks or any of the other stuff they have found by keyword searching, just enough to be annoying. I mean, does it say anywhere on this site that I sell them ? No. The only mention is in the title of the blog or in the case of the tank, a post about the Hachette Tiger Tank partword. If you bother to read you will be pretty clear that it isn't a web site selling workbenches or tanks. Can I make it much clearer ? What do you want, flashing text ?

What has happened of course is that someone has bulk e-mailed this out in the hope of harvesting some live addresses. Send a reply and I'll be on yet another list sending me stuff to fill the Spam filter. You might wonder if it is worth the effort. Sadly it is. You know those e-mails offering Viagra ? Send a million of them and you'll flog $100 worth apparently.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Phil,
I agree with you entirely. Anyway to business, do you sell garden sheds? If so do you take credit cards? Looking forward to your prompt reply.

Terry

Andy from Workshopshed said...

Dearest Sir,
thank you for your review of Spamalot, I too thought it was a great play. Do you sell tickets to the show? If so do you take credit cards? Looking forward to your prommt reply.
Cheers,
Andy

Mr T said...

I get this all the time with "good day sir, can you send a me a list of what you have in stock and do you accept credit card?" well they are not being specific at all and if they can be bothered to look at the website then they would know what i stock and if its in stock.

They are forever wasting my time and yours!

Matt Dawson said...

I quite often get the emails about the comments to find the comment has either been deleted or never posted. I should also note that the comment is exactly the first one you get too.

But frankly, it IS quite annoying.